He Loves Me
by A Moments Hesitation
Summary: He loves me not, "I love you." "Love you too, Alex." He loves me - just not the way I want him to... Jalex


These past few days have been agonizingly long. She just wanted them over. If she had never discovered this new feeling for him, would her life right now be any different?

Would she have to worry about people finding out how she feels? They wouldn't understand. Wouldn't understand the situation she's in. They wouldn't understand _her _- although people already don't really understand her, except for _him_. He understood her. He knew why she did things the way she did. He helped her. _They _didn't.

She _loved_ him.

For that, and many more reasons. He always stood by her - most of the time. She remembered all of their precious memories from when she was little. They had always stuck together, like two peas in a pod. Where ever he went, she followed.

They had an unspeakable bond between each other. Neither talked to the other about it, but they knew it was there. He knew when ever she was hurt, or when she wasn't feeling well. He knew.

He was the one that she was crazy about. He was the one that always appeared in her mind. He was the one that she always turned to for help first. He was the one that was always there for her.

She loves him.

With all her heart.

But, it breaks her heart. It hurts her when she sees him with others. She hates it that she can't make it public that she loves him - in a sibling way: yes. In a romantic way: no.

She just hates it.

She wants to be in a different universe - one where he wasn't her brother. One where he wasn't related to her.

One where Justin could be_ hers_.

-

_He loves her_

-

The sky outside was darkening. The sun was going away - into hiding until it comes back tomorrow morning. She sighed. It was kind of like her, she couldn't let this secret out as much as the sun didn't want to let the moon know that he was around.

She picked up a daisy that was by her. Now, instead of pacing around she was outside in the backyard, pulling grass like she did when she was little. She didn't care what people would say, she was too deep into her thoughts.

_The daisy is such a beautiful flower_, she thought. "He loves me," she murmured. Not really controlling her own movements, she ripped off a petal. Now, that was more like her. Beautiful, but broken.

"He loves me not."

She knows he cares her. That was a given. They were brother and sister. Even with all their bickering, and fighting, they care for each other. She couldn't imagine a world without him.

As cliche as it is, he was what kept her alive. He seemed like one of the few people that really understood her. He didn't really judge her, he _listened_ to her.

If she sat down, and thought, she could probably think of over a hundred reasons why she loved him. Some sibling emotions, others....not sibling like.

-

_He loves me not_

-

All most every happy memory she could find in her mind involved Justin. There were only a few that he wasn't involved in, and she could count those on one hand.

Another white petal fell onto the grass, mixing the white and green.

"He loves me."

She loved art, and this - in her opinion - was an art. She was making art. Whether she meant too or not. _He loves me_. She just wished that was true. Well, it is...but she wants the romantic love, not the sisterly-brotherly love that he's showing her.

-

_He loves me_

-

She plucked another petal, with a frown, thinking about all the fights they've had. Some were terrible resulting in them not speaking to each other in days. A pain echoed in her chest. Others were the ordinary bickering's they indulge in almost everyday.

She smiled, and then immediatly frowned.

"He loves me not."

-

_He loves me not_

-

She couldn't imagine a world where he didn't love her. Let it be romantic love, or sibling love, she couldn't see him not feeling _some_ kind of emotion for her.

She wished that she would never experience that. It would break her heart. No, it would crush her heart into a _thousand million, tiny _pieces. Pieces could never be mended. Pieces that were unfix-able. Pieces that were meant to be forever shattered.

Her heart pains. That constant annoying shot of pain filled her body. She hated this emotion. She hated being vulnerable. She hated being weak. Long ago, she thought that these emotions made you weak, but in reality they make you stronger. They make you stronger so that you can face other situations. They helped you develop.

"He loves me."

A smile wound up onto her face, as the broken petal fluttered to the ground. Maybe she wasn't really broken as she thought she was. Maybe, somewhere deep inside he did _love_ her like she loved him. Maybe...

She sighed, her mood darkening with just a simple thought. No, it wasn't the idea of him loving her like that that made her sad, it was the stupidity of the idea. It would never happen - not in a million years. Even if it did - he would never act on those feelings. It would be a contradiction to everything he ever believed in.

Sometimes she wished he wasn't such a Mr. Good Shoes...

But, that's another reason why she loves him. That attitude made up him - the guy that she loves.

"He loves me not."

The brilliant white petal floated in the wind for a minute, before being carried a little further away then falling onto the ground.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by _him_.

Him calling her name over and over again.

"Alex! Alex! Dinner!"

She didn't move. She savored his voice.

"Alex?" he called appearing outside staring at her. A foreign emotion flickered into his eyes before it was gone. It was much too fast for Alex to catch what it was.

Worry now was evident in his eyes,"Alex, are you okay?"

She looked up at him before smiling, "Yeah, I'm fine."

He smiled back. Her stomach fluttered. "Then, come on. Mom's calling us."

"I'll be there in a minute."

He turned to head inside when she called his name.

"Hey Justin?"

He turned around to stare fully at her. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

Confusion flitted his across his face before being replaced with that same foreign emotion she had caught in his eyes before.

"Love you too, Alex."

With that he went inside.

She sighed as she gazed onto the last petal on the flower. The flower was almost complete. Just on more pluck, and it was done.

With a deep breath, she pulled the last petal out, throwing the petal-less flower onto the ground. There. Done. With that she went inside, leaving behind her thoughts for now.

"He loves me."

-

_He loves me - just not the way I want him to..._

-

**a/n: So, this is my second Jalex story. :] How is it? Review. :]**


End file.
